40
To some it may appear as just another number.
To others, 40 pounds of trouble.
To me, a most important number.
For 40 years the Israelites wandered in the wilderness.
Moses was on the mount for 40 days before descending with the 10 commandments...twice.
It rained for 40 days and 40 nights to cover the earth in a flood.
David and Solomon each reigned for 40 years.
Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness and also ascended to Heaven 40 days after his resurrection.
(See where I'm going here?)
All were periods of testing and challenges to be faithful.
~Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.~Proverbs 3:3
The same can and is true for marriage.
We celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary this past weekend with a gathering of friends and relatives. We also renewed our wedding vows to each other, but this time around...we actually knew what the words meant and what we were promising to each other.
~To have and to hold~
Life can and will knock us all down from time to time, but if we're lucky...make that blessed...to find the right someone, we're never down for long. A husband and wife should take turns picking the other up when life gets to be too much.
Bad day at the office? Offer a sympathetic ear.
Week going to hell in a hand basket? Send yellow roses "just because".
Life as a couple is tied up not just in the big game changing details, but in the little irritations that can derail a marriage quicker than finding out you're 5th cousins...twice removed!
~For better or worse~
For you who are just married or about to get married, let me be the first to tell you sometimes it's gonna seem like there is a lot more "worse" than there are "betters". You think you're prepared to handle it, at least I thought I was, but it's takes a lot of practice, patience, and prayers.
What I've learned over a span of 40 years is there is only three reasons for divorce....and they all start with an A.
1. Adultery with no hope of reconciliation
2. Abuse, be it physical, verbal, or neglectful.
3. Addiction and by addiction I don't just mean alcohol or drug. Anything that separates you or your spouse from each other is robbing you of intimacy and should never rule your life or your marriage.
It is possible with counseling and a lot of prayers, these obstacles can be overcome, but first there has to be a firm commitment from both.
Anything else is just a lot of words and excuses lawyers have came up with. Truth is, sometimes it's just easier to walk away rather than stay and work through the problems...and there will be bumps along the way...that's the only guarantee there is. But the end result is worth it. Success doesn't come easy in life so why should marriage be the exception.
(Don't hate me for this. It's just my own personal opinion I'm spouting.)
~For richer or poorer~
It's up to you to decide the definition for poor or rich.
One can have deep pockets, but doesn't make them rich.
While standing on the gazebo with Cat Daddy, I glanced out at the faces smiling and crying with us and knew we were rich beyond words.
Our children are our success story and as they stood up with us, their children our living testimony, I knew he and I had wealth untold. My beautiful sister's tears as she held my hand...sparkling diamonds of love.
Oh...our checking account may have a negative balance every now and then, but learning together to stretch our money, taught us how to bounce back when times were tough.
When asked if he had bought me a bigger diamond, I answered no. I didn't want another ring. This man I call Cat Daddy had spent weeks prior to our wedding date on crutches looking for the ring of my heart. When we got married the first time and asked if it were to be a single or double ring ceremony, he had answered a "no ring." But he never gave up and presented me with the ones I wear now about a month later. That folks was the promise of the man he was to become...devoted.
This symbol of eternity I wear has only left my ring finger twice since he placed it there. First when the doctors made me take it off for surgery and this past Saturday night for C.D. to place it on for the last time. It has served us well.
~In sickness and health~
This doesn't mean just the couple's health, but that of their family as well.
It means comforting each other when a beloved mother, best friend, or little schnauzer has gone to the better world a'waiting.
It means a father, in the middle of the night, holding his little girl's hair back as she throws up.
It means sleeping many nights in a fold-out chair in a hospital room, scared to leave.
It means holding hands while waiting for a biopsy result.
It means rushing to wrap a knocked out tooth in ice before rushing a 10 year old boy to the dentist.
It means always caring and always being there.
~To love and to cherish til death do us part~
Do I need to spell this one out for y'all.
Passion is fleeting but love and friendship is forever.
Wives forget how to flirt with their husbands.
Husbands forget wives need to hear she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
Both need to know they are the most important person in each other's life.
Wives lament their husbands aren't romantic...except on Saturday nights.
Husbands lament their wives never wear a dress except for Sunday mornings.
Both are honest complaints, but maybe if the wives would greet their husbands in something other than a mismatched set of p.j.s they might get that romance.
AND...if the husbands would try tuning in to their marriage rather than Nascar, their wives might be inclined to put on nothing but a smile and some music.
I used to fuss that C.D. never put the seat down on the toilet for me until he pointed out I never raised it for him.
Hmmm...good point.
See...it works both ways.
Give and take...that's the key.
Well that and a sense of humor!
50/50 splitting only works on pies...never on hairs. Someone is always going to skim a little off the top.
Love and cherish with every fiber of your being, even in those moments when you'd like nothing better than to smother them with their pillow.
When asked why we were renewing our vows, the answers were simple.
We weren't the same people we were 40 years ago. We had grown and matured. Changes for the good had came along the way.
We are no longer two strangers stumbling our way through a strange land. We are as one, finishing each other's thoughts, sentences and dinners.
Neither of us were perfect when we married and we still aren't.
The difference is now we are perfect for each other.
'Til Death Do Us Part.
Amen
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