Friday, March 2, 2012

Puttin' My Best Foot Forward And Dancin' the Cotton Eyed Joe

Y'all asked and since I always aim to please, I'm gonna attempt to translate the term  "grocery store feet" in somewhat...ahem...genteel terms.  I'm thinking a lot of y'all don't run around barefoot much...leastways not as much as me.

Down here in the South...

or maybe just in Texas...

or maybe just in my neck o'the woods...

or maybe just at the Casita de Trash...

come warm are optional.

When it comes to staying shod, I've been a hillbilly as long as I can remember.  (Love shoes...just don't want to wear 'em!)  Mother couldn't keep a pair on me to save her life...and law how she tried.  The bottoms of my feet in the summertime resembled shoe leather.  Hot asphalt, pebbles, mud...nothing slowed me down...'cept maybe the occasional Coke lid.

By the time I hit my teen years, it was all about peace, macrame, and going barefoot.  Goodness...threw on some frayed bell bottoms and I fit right in without trying!

Fast forward to my adult years and I gave new meaning to barefoot and pregnant!  If I was at shoes were in the closet.  If I put on shoes, the melonheads and dog knew we were going somewhere...and not just to the mailbox.

As I've gotten older, I've caved to conventionalism and only go paddlin' around barefoot here at mi casa.  My days of roaming outside without shoes are behind me now and sadly no more of "this little piggie went to market",


let me tell y'all...not everyone has the same hangups as me!

(Contrary to popular belief...I do care what kind of impression I leave behind...even on total strangers!)

On any given day, I'm willing to bet a dollar to a donut, you can go to just about any grocer's in town and more'n likely as not...there's gonna to be at least one person walking around like Fred Flintstone...or Yeti.

Picture if you will, feet blackened by dirt so deeply embedded, no amount of
Lava can erase it.

Heels calloused to the point, matches can be lit off 'em.

Toenails with vestiges of jungle red nail polish clinging to 'em like tiny life boats.

Feet...when strolled in for a pedicure...makes a manicurist run for the mouse sander...and rubber gloves.

That my a grocery store feet. 

Speaking of nutshells...Squirrel alert!
I've recently read on the Pinterest Help page about an option you can place on your photos/blog if you don't want your images pinned.  Some of y'all expressed concern over this, so if this is a choice you'd like to have, just go to their Help page and they provide a code.  Those Pinterest guys...they think of everything!

I ain't gonna lie to y'all.  My feet look pretty doggone raggedy...even with the addition of the proper accessories...and by accessories, I mean granny beads and a junker's tan.  Fact is, by the time we come home from the Mother Ship I will have pretty much cornered the market on dirt, dust, grime...and not just on my feet!

(BTW...the greatest show on dirt now has a new web page and blog.  Can you say Yee to the Haw?)

I hope this cleared things up for y'all.  Sometimes I forget not everyone is as messy or dirty as me!  I also tend to forget Trash-ese is a language not everyone is familiar with.
(Hmmm...wonder if I need to write a dictionary or at least a tourist guide for visiting here?)

In closing...I would like to add just one more little bit of info.  Grocery store feet should never be confused with Yellow Box feet.  Y'all...that is a whole 'nother post!


A Wild Thing said...

This here post is just what this ol' Ioway gal needed to hear this afternoon, a flash snow storm just put the kabash to my travelin plans, so a visit to crazy in Texas is just what the doctor(psychiatrist)ordered...girl, you never fail me...I totally got a visual!!!

Take care and waych out for them fire ants...LOL!


Lou Cinda @ Tattered Hydrangeas said...

Seeing as to how I am from the South as well....I knew exactly what grocery store feet were and have been guilty of it a time or two in my lifetime...but I SO enjoyed your description!

Off to check the the web page for the Greatest Show on Dirt....just to torment myself you know...

Lou Cinda

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

Oh girl you are so dang funny..I laughed until my sides hurt..I just kept picturing people at Wal-Mart in my town..At least with feet like that no one will say you put your foot in your mouth..Laughs for the lol!! Hugs and smiles Gloria

Marsha @ Tattered Chick said...

ROTFL, you brought me back to my youth where I also never wore shoes, yep, I can remember walking on hot asphalt . . . my feet couldn't withstand that these days. although at home, yep, still bare feet and when I venture out, flip-flops.

I have so many pairs of shoes in the closet from the days I had to wear heels to work that my feet can no longer get into, size 5's, why am I holding onto them?!?! I'm now a size 6 when I HAVE to wear 'em . .

BTW, those are some kick-arse boots!!!


Marsha @ Tattered Chick said...

P.S. Oops, I did go to the store in my slippers one time, I was mortified, but no one seemed to notice. These days it's the norm . . at least I did get DRESSED!!!

Vintage Green said...

Ok, now you know I need to know about yellow box feet......sounds like it could be catchy!!

Some day when you have time....

Cheryl said...

What a great and hilarious post you have done today. I love your lingo! Now I have to hear about the yellow box feet!
Have a great weekend,

Low Tide High Style said...

I knew just what you meant! When I was a kid I could walk on blue chip gravel roads in 100 degree heat just like I was walking on air, but like you, those days are long gone for me. I take 2 things off as soon as I walk in the shoes and my jewelry! I love shoes, I have plenty, but when I'm home I don't have shoes on my feet, and in the summer I only wear flip flops unless I have to attend a funeral or a wedding! ;-) My mother always made us wash our dirty feet before we went to bed though, and Pretty Hands and Feet was a staple in our medicine cabinet.

Kat :)

Kate said...

Wow thank you Deb for the explaining the grocery feet!!! Love love the white boots makes me sing that Nancy Sinatra song. Have a wonderful weekend

much love

LuLu Kellogg said...

My Freddies are not happy if they are encased so I love grocery store feet! Tee hee!!

Love you Deb!

Kathie Truitt said...

It's not that I don't love grocery store feet, but honey when there are so many wonderful cowboy boots out there why should a girl go barefoot. Which brings me to this question: What size are those white cowboy boots and how much do you want for 'em....
Send me your mailing address so I can send you "The Hillbilly Debutante Cafe" for review. You would write a review for me, wouldn't ya?

Little Stories said...

Texas first 25 years, Wisconsin the next 25... I knew exactly what you meant when you said Grocery store feet! Had forgotten, but was stricken with it many times myself.

Now, earlier today I was watching the video clip of the wonderful Magnolia Pearl fashion show and couldn't help but get tickled all over again. Those models went home with the ailment.

red.neck chic said...

dang debbie...

i'll be back 'cause i have to go wash my feet.

you didn't address the various color of spray paint as toe nail polish...



time worn interiors said...

Loven those white boots! Are they a size 9.5? Hahahaha!

I thought I was the only hillbilly in the bunch!

See you soon!


Gracie's Cottage said...

Never heard of 'grocery store feet'...but I did spend my childhood barefoot; now it's flip-flops all summer long and my dogs do howl when winter comes and I have to wear shoes.
I do love those white boots!


DearHelenHartman said...

Well I knew it was about going barefoot in the grocery store but your description, um, helped me realize the full glory of grocery store feet. Yikes.


LOL! Loving me some white cowgirl boots. And I never want to have grocery store feet. EEEEEEEWWWW! But at home, that's a different story. I hit the door and off come the shoes. Thanks for the Cotton Eyed Joe fix. We Texans, misplaced and otherwise, love that little ditty!


Carole said...

Thanks for clearing that up:) I do hate to wear shoes when I'm eating in a restaurant. Drives hubby crazy!
Oh thanks for the info on Pinterest.


lisa Moran, Bilancia Designs said...

You are too much....
As I said before, you could write a grocery list and I would be hanging on your every word!!
Thanks for explaining, and I'm glad I'm not the only one that doesn't like to wear shoes... :)
(Very cool white boots, by the way)

Theresa said...

Thanks for clearing that up Deb! If you wrote a dictionary I would stand in line all grocery store feet style to get it! Playing catch up and am so glad that I didn't miss this one all together... t.xoxoxoo