She: Oh mylanta...not another annoying, shameless commercial.
Her: Law...I know right?
She: What on earth does this woman hope to accomplish with all this unabashed self-promotion anyways?
Her: Ssshh! The walls have ears. Now...I'm not saying this for a fact...but I've heard tell the goal is to become a gazillionaire before the age of 70 and retire to an island in Lake Texoma.
She: Someone needs to tell this obviously-throwed-off-woman that if it ain't happened yet...it ain't gonna...leastways not selling junk!
Her: Hey...you know it and I know it...but if this crazy woman really wants to believe the road to riches is paved with rust...who are we to burst that bubble?
Me: Will you two please hush up. You're breaking my concentration here. Can't y'all hear me trying to count my imaginary chickens before they hatch!
She and Her: Well I never! What gall! Have you no shame?
Me: None whatsoever! You two can be such a drag.
C'mon now. You really think I'd be sportin' braids a la Willie if I did? Yeah...that's right. I'm loud...I'm proud...so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
And just so's y'all know...Baby's got a brand new bag and they'll be at The Junk Hippy Roadshow too.
To all y'all in the DFW area and all points in between...howsa 'bout you droppin' by Saturday to the Junk Hippy Roadshow? Between me and thee...we can prove these two wrong and silence 'em forever!
Almost time for me to split the scene so...
AND CLEAN OUTTA SIGHT!
You dig what I'm sayin'?