A friend asked me recently what my word of the year was going to be and my first thought...it sure as heck ain't gonna be one that I feel inclined to include in the title of each.and.every.post! What the heck was I thinking when I dreamed up that nightmare? Folks...if you ever see me thinking of doing that again (and you'll know 'cause my eyes will be spinning in opposite directions and smoke comin' outta my ears)...do us both a favor and slap me on the forehead, get all up in my face, and holler "DON'T!" Let me tell y'all...some of my titles for 2011 were a stretch...even for me.
Like a lost marble (or two...or three), I've rolled this around in my head since New Year's eve trying to take a'holt of what and where I wanted to be in 2012. Looking at the date on the calendar this morning and realizing January was slipping away, I thought "Bingo...got it!".
A word that fits like a pair of Spanx. I do believe I could single-handedly put the Pro in procrastination.
stole borrowed this from somewhere and can't remember where!)
I tell myself all the time, I don't drag my feet...it's just that I work better under pressure...but I'm only fooling myself. To be fair...it's not entirely my fault. In doing a little prep work for this post, I did my research on the word procrastination and it seems it's actually a slight kink in the ol' wiring of the noggin...kinda like ADD.
For all my joking about Squirrel Alerts, it really is true. I'm easily distracted and even easier to talk into doing something...make that anything...instead of what I should be doing. It isn't always laziness on my part or even a lack of will power...it's poor time management more often than not. Obviously, a skill I failed to learn over the years. Ooops!
I have a tendency to put off and put off until I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know how to even begin. I'm not making excuses, but to keep from beating myself up relentlessly, it really got out of control while waiting for Bella to be born and continued to spiral downward like a kite that had lost its wind while waiting for her to come home. Like the wind...my priorities shifted and with it...my attention.
For example...remember this photo?
(Ugh...my Black Hole of Casita de Trash!)
'Course you don't...how could you? We'd have to take a trip in the Way Back Machine to jog your memory 'cause it's from December 2008 and half of you didn't even know me then. Would you be shocked if I told you the only thing different in this room is the boxes are back in the Christmas building (she says hanging her head in shame!)? It's true. This room is the bane of my existence...my Achilles heel...my Kryptonite. I walk in there...get the heebie-jeebies...close my eyes...slowly back out...shut the door...and promise myself I'll do it later. Deny..deny...deny!
The thing is y'all while doing my research, one suggestion for coping was to quit trying to be it all while doing it all. Instead, the experts suggest commit only to the first step and see how that goes, thus staving off the guys in white jackets and possibly real commitment.
S-o-o...here it is...my word for 2012.
One step at a time...instead of trying to skip a few in haste and stumbling...or worse...falling.
One piece at a time...instead of running back and forth doing ten...and watching in horror as they all turn into hot messes.
One project at a time...instead of fifty that never get finished or wind up looking like...well...for lack of a better analogy..dog poo.
One day at a time...instead of worrying Thursday what could happen on Friday or what went wrong on Wednesday. Tomorrow can wait and yesterday's gone.
Finally...one life...mine...and me repurposing it.
My first step/project/day reclaiming my sanity began this week...in that blasted bedroom. The walls are swept down...along with the cobwebs...the holes patched. The blue tape is in place and the paint has been purchased. (Y'all would be so proud of me and how I handled making my paint choice. I kept calm and no bodily harm came to Cat Daddy throughout the entire ordeal!)
Once I begin painting, it'll go fast, but for now...I have to take a little breather from everything else in order to remain focused on one thing at a time. If I can conquer that
dratted dreaded room...I'm on my way to conquering my fear of failure.
After that y'all...the world is my oyster...served on the half shell...
and I can't wait to slurp it down!