Requiem For A Lightweight

This is an extremely difficult post to write. Some of y'all may have noticed, I've been absent from posting and leaving comments. My little man of 13 years was not feeling well this past week. Knowing what was coming, I was spending every minute with him. I couldn't leave him alone even for one second.

Danny bought him for my birthday gift in '98. He was the cutest thing I had ever seen in my life....little did I know that along with all that cuteness, came the dearest friend I would ever be privileged to have. He was with me when I lost my mother, Danny's mother, the birth of my grandchildren and every time I needed someone to just be there for me...he was. Silently laying his head on my feet to reassure me I was not alone, never asking more from me than to be loved in return and to have his ears rubbed. That's it. No taking me to task when I screwed up...no raising an eyebrow or judging me...always just loving me.

Mini-schnauzers are, in my opinion, the perfect dog. They don't shed, have very little health problems, joyful, easily trained and are loyal little guys. They live for a long time and in fact, show very little signs of aging until the end. This was my little boy in a fur suit....all 14 pounds of him. He developed SARD overnight and began acting differently. I told myself he was just depressed and it would pass, but I knew when I took him to the vet the news was not going to be good. I also knew that this week I was going to be asked to make a difficult decision. I turned him over to God and asked for His mercy for my baby dog. God listened and answered my prayer. Friday he was acting like his old self and I thought we had maybe turned a corner. That night, shortly after midnight, when I came to bed, I bent down to love him as he lay in his little dog bed and he just gave me a long look. As I climbed into bed and lay there listening to him breathe, I knew it was his last breaths. Somehow you just know.

Danny and I both know that he waited for us to go to sleep...and then he did...quietly and peacefully.

Danny checked on him at 1:30am and our little man was gone...his wonderful, huge heart just stopped. My dear sweet husband had to wait until 4:45 when I awoke to tell me. I know he hadn't slept worrying about me while grieving himself. We both loved this little dog more than words can ever tell. If you have a pet that is like a family member, you know what I'm talking about...if not...I'll offer no excuses of why my heart is hurting right now. You would never understand.

I'll be taking some time to allow myself to grieve and this I do hope you understand. I offer no apologies, only that I loved my dog and am missing him too much to think of little else right now.

We had several names for him and he answered to all of them....Boo, Mister Dog, Little Man, Jakie Dog and an occasional Dammit Dog. Danny had a certain way of whistling when he wanted Jake to come or if he wasn't sitting by the window waiting for the sound of the truck and Danny's footsteps. When Jakie heard that whistle, his little rear would sometimes get ahead of his feet to get to the door. He shared road trips, cookies, french fries and his never ending love with us and I was blessed to have owned (or maybe he owned me) such a beautiful little dog. He taught me patience, how to chase squirrels and what unconditional love truly is. It was the best money we ever spent and the return on our investment was a thousandfold. Good bye my precious Little Man. I know you're waiting by the window to Heaven and I'll see you there someday...I promise.