May the Fourth Be With You

~Sometimes I wonder about my life.  I lead a small life-well valuable, but small and sometimes I wonder...do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave.  So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?~Kathleen-You've Got Mail

Today is my oldest melonhead's birthday.  My son turns 40 today.

40...how did that happen?

40...a number that doesn't trip off a mother's tongue easily.

(Insert small shudder here!)

As I sat at his birthday dinner and watched him, surrounded by family and friends who love him, I found myself looking back over life...mine and his.  A life filled with laughter and tears.  A kaleidoscope of colored memories accompanied by the soundtrack of 40 years of love.

(Right about now I could wax poetic about all the fine qualities he possesses, but don't we all feel that way about our children?  Instead I'd like to focus on one in particular that I admire about him and also feel just a tinge of envy for.)

Both of my children are remarkable in their ability to build, hold, and maintain friendships.  Two of Joey's friends were sitting at that table and their combined years of friendship total 63 years.  Decades of memories that only they share.  Amazing.

Looking at these three big guys who love each other and aren't too macho to say or show it, my heart and eyes began welling up.  Friendships that have survived the ravages of time, work, family and everything else that sometimes gets in the way.

The ability to sustain a friendship is a rare gift.  Being able to forgive, apologize, and keep moving forward cannot be taught...it has to be felt.  Possessing the knowledge that a successful friendship is like marriage...where love and old grudges cannot co-exist.  The ability to maintain and sustain friendships that last a lifetime is a gift from God that I cannot match...nor would I ever try.

Is this a gene passed from generation to generation?  Possibly, but not necessarily.

How does one become a man that other men want as their best friend?

How does one become the type of man women secretly want to be their boyfriend?

I think it comes down to devotion.

It comes from a willingness to share a part of one's heart, to always be there...just a click or phone call away...always.  To set aside one's own problems and listen to others.  It's the pure unselfishness of putting others first.

Is it something we all are capable of, but never take the time for, so busy are we in the present day-to-day that we forget about the past that brought us to this point in life and our future that holds many promises regardless of our age.

There are many things about my son I take full responsibility for...the eyes and brows, the quick laugh,  his tendency to procrastinate...all me.

The ability to never meet a stranger or forget a face...y'all know that's all Cat Daddy.

The ability to hold onto what matters most in life...friends and family...Joey.  To forgive and forget...all him.  To cherish old friendships and still have room for new ones...him again.  To never let go of his past and the people who populate it, while reaching out for the future and the folks he'll have the opportunity to bring into his circle of friends...God has blessed him abundantly.

I would love to take full credit for what a remarkable man he has become...a loving father, devoted husband, a gentle man,  but in my heart I know this was breathed into him 40 years ago today.  This was also the day I lost my breath at the wonder of him and have yet to get it back.

40 years.

Man alive...that roller coaster sure went fast.  What do you say kiddo?  Wanta get back in line for another ride and try doing it this time with our hands in the air?  I'm up for it if you are...always!

Son...my birthday wish for you is you never change.  I may have been your guidance counselor for the first half of your life, but you have been mine for the entire run...with my eyes always wide open...never wanting to miss a thrilling moment!

Happy Birthday my precious Oldest MelonHead!