Friday, May 4, 2012

May the Fourth Be With You

~Sometimes I wonder about my life.  I lead a small life-well valuable, but small and sometimes I wonder...do I do it because I like it or because I haven't been brave.  So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?~Kathleen-You've Got Mail

Today is my oldest melonhead's birthday.  My son turns 40 today.

40...how did that happen?

40...a number that doesn't trip off a mother's tongue easily.

(Insert small shudder here!)

As I sat at his birthday dinner and watched him, surrounded by family and friends who love him, I found myself looking back over life...mine and his.  A life filled with laughter and tears.  A kaleidoscope of colored memories accompanied by the soundtrack of 40 years of love.

(Right about now I could wax poetic about all the fine qualities he possesses, but don't we all feel that way about our children?  Instead I'd like to focus on one in particular that I admire about him and also feel just a tinge of envy for.)

Both of my children are remarkable in their ability to build, hold, and maintain friendships.  Two of Joey's friends were sitting at that table and their combined years of friendship total 63 years.  Decades of memories that only they share.  Amazing.

Looking at these three big guys who love each other and aren't too macho to say or show it, my heart and eyes began welling up.  Friendships that have survived the ravages of time, work, family and everything else that sometimes gets in the way.

The ability to sustain a friendship is a rare gift.  Being able to forgive, apologize, and keep moving forward cannot be taught...it has to be felt.  Possessing the knowledge that a successful friendship is like marriage...where love and old grudges cannot co-exist.  The ability to maintain and sustain friendships that last a lifetime is a gift from God that I cannot match...nor would I ever try.


Is this a gene passed from generation to generation?  Possibly, but not necessarily.

How does one become a man that other men want as their best friend?

How does one become the type of man women secretly want to be their boyfriend?

I think it comes down to devotion.

It comes from a willingness to share a part of one's heart, to always be there...just a click or phone call away...always.  To set aside one's own problems and listen to others.  It's the pure unselfishness of putting others first.

Is it something we all are capable of, but never take the time for, so busy are we in the present day-to-day that we forget about the past that brought us to this point in life and our future that holds many promises regardless of our age.

There are many things about my son I take full responsibility for...the eyes and brows, the quick laugh,  his tendency to procrastinate...all me.

The ability to never meet a stranger or forget a face...y'all know that's all Cat Daddy.

The ability to hold onto what matters most in life...friends and family...Joey.  To forgive and forget...all him.  To cherish old friendships and still have room for new ones...him again.  To never let go of his past and the people who populate it, while reaching out for the future and the folks he'll have the opportunity to bring into his circle of friends...God has blessed him abundantly.

I would love to take full credit for what a remarkable man he has become...a loving father, devoted husband, a gentle man,  but in my heart I know this was breathed into him 40 years ago today.  This was also the day I lost my breath at the wonder of him and have yet to get it back.

40 years.

Man alive...that roller coaster sure went fast.  What do you say kiddo?  Wanta get back in line for another ride and try doing it this time with our hands in the air?  I'm up for it if you are...always!

Son...my birthday wish for you is you never change.  I may have been your guidance counselor for the first half of your life, but you have been mine for the entire run...with my eyes always wide open...never wanting to miss a thrilling moment!

Happy Birthday my precious Oldest MelonHead!





18 comments:

afistfullofweeds* said...

Iam just sitting here in awe, all tearry eyed and thinking of my oldest son that will turn 30 in September, and how aweswome he also is! Thanks Debra, we are truly blessed!! Rhonda

Debra @ Common Ground said...

Happy "Birth"-Day to you too, mom! I have one close on his heels.

Nancy's Notes said...

What a beautiful post about your amazing son! You raised a remarkable man and you know? He's got a remarkable mom!

Give that handsome son a birthday hug for me!

Nancy

Garden Antqs Vintage said...

Girl, you made me cry!! Your words are just so moving. Happy birthday to your baby!

FRENCH LAUNDRY said...

What a great post Deb! Happy Birthday to that oldest melonhead. He's got some awesome parents there.

Hugs,
Judy

" SHABBY JUNK" said...

My daughter will turn 40 in July and I hear ya. Went very fast! Boy I am older than I know.

Diane said...

I nominate you for "Best writer of words"!

You have a great way with sentiments.

Happy B'day to your son.

Gracie's Cottage said...

Awww - happy birthday to your firstborn! You are blessed to have each other!

Jan

Anne Lorys - Fiona and Twig said...

The math doesn't compute, Deb...
How can he be 40 when you are only 39? ;-)

Beautiful post!

XO,
Anne

Laura said...

I hope that everyone who commented above, as well as those that will comment after me realize what we just read.

This is prose the likes of which is seldom seen.

"This was also the day I lost my breath at the wonder of him and have yet to get it back."

Mercy, that's good.
Really, really good.

I guess we don't take credit for our children, but we were there...you were there... modeling every single quality you just described.

Way to go Deb.

LB

Cheryl said...

You sure have a way with words Deb! I also have a 40 year old son and can't believe how the years have passed by so fast...........it's been a wild ride, too!
You and Cat Daddy are very blessed and I feel the love in your words. Enjoy life,
Cheryl

Olive Cooper said...

Oh Poet you did good by your darling Melonhead. Love You.

time worn interiors said...

Poor thing you callen him melonhead! Hahahaha!

Happy 40th to your handsome son!

tot

Carole said...

What a great way to end my day! What a great tribute to your son.

Hugs
Carole

One Shabby Old House said...

Very special post about a very special person. Happy Birthday to your son. What a blessing!

Country Glenda said...

I feel your pain. My daughter was 40 last September. My child is 40??? How did that happen?

Dixie said...

Deb... that is the sweetest tribute I've read in a very long time...

and I think that you and CD can take full credit... "children learn what they live"... and old Jewish saying... is as true today as it ever was...

count yourselves shining examples of how to live life...

love ya! Dixie

red.neck chic said...

*sigh*

you told me to get kleenex - i come over here and in the past 3 posts i have used a whole stinkin' box. and it's all joey's fault.

LOVE this post!!!

i hope he had a wonderful birthday - i'm going for more kleenex now.

xoxoxo
robelyn