Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Fall Guy

As I was taking a break from packing C.D.'s underroos, a thought occurred to me...did I mention we're setting up inside the hall at Zapp?
Oopsie...my bad.
You'll find us just inside the porch of the hall...if you come looking for us!
Consider it mentioned and with that info update, I think I'll continue my spiel sharing of things you can expect while at the Greatest Show on Dirt.
Want to know an added fillip to the shows...besides great shopping?

Photo courtesy of Red.Neck chic.
Celebrity sightings...or as I like to call 'em...UCS...Unidentified Celebrity Sightings!
You just never know who you'll be shopping the fields with...shoulder to shoulder....cart to cart...eye to eye.
And speaking of eyes, it's best to keep them peepers open and focused.
These people travel incognito.
If you're thinking famous people shop the shows ball gown and Red Carpet ready...think again.
Trust me...Sandra Bullock does not look like Sandra Bullock when she's out in the middle of a cow pasture.  Neither does Miranda. I mean...c'mon folks, this ain't the Oscars or CMA's. This is where the cool kids come to shop and play and there ain't any cooler than these two.
Case in point...
A couple of shows ago, Matthew McConaughey was in my booth wearing a wife-beater and shades.  I hear a lot of whispering and giggling around me, but I don't pay it no never mind. With his whole fam-dam-ily in tow, I helped him like he was any ol' junker out for a day of pleasure in the Texas sun.
Did I notice all the gals around me foaming at the mouth? Nope.
I just went about my business doing what I love to do...talking.  It wasn't until he, his wife, kids and MIL stepped away did somebody bother to tell me.  Make that a whole lot of drooling somebodies!!!
Oy vey!
Not that I would have bothered him by asking for him to take his shirt off an autograph, a kiss photo-op or to take a look with me at what I had tucked behind the tent just for him anything like that...no not me.  Nor would I have treated him any different...except maybe with a tad bit more muchness and a whole lotta eyelash batting while moistening my lips seductively.
Just because these folks make like a gazillion dollars doesn't mean they don't want to enjoy their privacy and the show...just.like.normal.people. They are not out schlepping the fields to be hounded, but like the average person...looking for a unique treasure to take home...along with some memories. I doubt if being ogled is high on their lists of things they love...if at all!
It's just that it would have been so helpful to have gotten a heads up. A little fair warning so I could have run around behind him, discreetly licking everything he touched...that's all.  Nothing too obvious y'all!  I am, after all, the height of discretion.
'Course not all celebrities who venture out into our playground are reclusive.  There's always got to be a Tory Spelling, tramping the grounds with her entourage, camera crews, and release forms, filming.  Not that I'm criticizing.  A poor girl's gotta do what a poor girl's gotta do to make a living.  Besides...we can't pay for that kind of exposure and advertising!
But enough about that...she says while wiping the sweat from her brow while visualizing M.M. shirtless...yum!
Guys...you are not excluded from the costume party.
No sirree-bob.
I expect to see all you fellows dressed to the nines at least for one night...the Junk Gypsy Prom.
The night of nights.
Where even the sanest of the sane lose their minds and dance 'til the cows come home.
I've seen men...grown men mind you...arrive en masse as Elvis.  Or is a pack of 'em considered Elvi?  I forget.
I've seen Brave heart (sans underwear and don't ask me how I know that. It was a windy night is all I'm gonna say.), The Village People, women impersonators, doctors, lawyers and Indian Chiefs.  Heck...I've seen more than my share of half nekkid men...enough to last me a lifetime of nightmares.
FYI...All men are NOT created equal. Bare chests on men belong only on the Magic Mikes of the world and should never be accompanied by a beer belly or a vest of shoulder/back hair. I'm just saying...it ain't pretty.
My point is guys, do your part...and I don't mean parting your shoulder hair.
You can let your hair down (I repeat...but not the hair on your back) and perhaps meet your next wife while doing so.
Drag out those boots, dust off that cowboy hat, slip on a Scully...leaving just one or two snaps undone...speaking for women everywhere, we like that...and join the parade.
But more importantly...get yourselves on down to Zapp Hall...where I always say...
Come for the junk ...stay for the party!
No reservations needed...pun intended!
Just two more little things and I'll wrap this one up for the record books.
1.  I hope you come see us at Zapp Hall. The show opens Friday, September 27, prom night is October 3 and our show closes the following Saturday, October 5.  We'll be there from can 'til can't and hope to see you or some other equally famous VIP!  Bet your boots though...I'll be saving the best seat in the house for you.

2. Today is Cat Daddy's birthday...hence all the photos of my handsome man bedecked in his favorite finery. For those of y'all who wonder why I call him "Cat Daddy"...I think the photos speak for themselves!  Only a true Cat Daddy can pull off some of his get-ups with that much aplomb...and swagger-ease.

Happy Birthday my big ol' hunka hunka...
and as for the rest of y'all...
catch y'all after the bull riding with one more post before we head off into the sunset.


holli said...

Happy happy birthday to Cat Daddy! He looks fabulous in this pictures. I think i would faint if i saw MM face to face. He's so yummy. Alright Alright Alright. ( you hear that in his voice now dont you?)
Have tons of fun and hope you sell everything you brought!

Lisa Love Harris said...

You make me laugh out loud so hard the poor dog was scared! or scarred? :) Anywho, I'm thinkin' MM should play the main lead in my Flea Market Mystery series with Sandra as Jimmie Rae...in my dreams, but hey, ain't that what dreaming's for? See ya at Zapp and ready for the Greatest Show on Dirt with the Greatest Vendors around. xxoos

Faded Charm said...

Oh, how I've missed your posts and I shoulda known I'd have to fight you for Matthew McConaughey....didn't you know he was the man of my dreams? Ever since Wedding Planner I've been in love!!! I probably would have peed my pants if he ever came into my booth....wife beater shirt or not...LOL!!!

I'm still gonna get there someday to meet you, it just might be a few years since I'm having to start thinking about how the heck we're going to put three kids through College....isn't it always something? I need to concentrate on selling more junk(instead of buying it) and save up for the Greatest Show on Dirt!

Have a great one!


Rebecca said...

Hey Sweet Lady... Ya, I'm surprised to see me here too. I clicked on
my blog and saw a new post by you and here I am... in between paint drying time.
Wishing you a grand ole time at Zapp and that includes selling to the dirt.
Wish you would swing around Tenn way going home :) We will be setting up on the 10th, one can always wish.
Blessings my friend

Dixie said...

Candy & I will see you there Monday!

must love junk said...

Hilarious!! Wish I could be there!!
(Especially when MM is there-ha!! :)
Thank you so much for your kind comment on my blog...

Olive said...

I am late but Happy Birthday to the Cat Daddy.