Thursday, November 14, 2013

Conundrum Wrapped in an Enigma

I don't believe in coincidences. a matter of fact, I believe in God's plans and the whispers He makes to encourage those plans. That is no coincidence or lucky accident, but a full out "on purpose".

I do however believe things often come in threes, but only because sometimes it takes that many times...and then some...for us/me to sit still and listen to what God is telling us/me.
Yesterday, three things came together and took that third time for me to finally go...Oh okay God. I see what you want of me.  Forgive me for not paying attention and getting it the first time.
1.  There was a game going around yesterday on Face Book where you were instructed to write X number of things about yourself that folks didn't already know.  As if I hadn't thrown my dress up over my head too many times before and shown my raggedy underwear, I now had to come up with more? Oy Vey indeed...and this from a woman who loves nothing better than talking about her favorite subject...herself!
2.  While I was scratching my head, trying to come up with 10 things I hadn't already told off on myself, a memory came back to me.  It involved a friend of mine who years ago was on an elevator at Sears when the doors opened and a good looking man got on.
As she tried not to stare, she kept thinking she knew him from somewhere.  Just as the doors opened and he started to step hit her.  Being a gentleman, he turned to say "Have a nice day." and all she could stammer out was "'re...!", to which he replied with a big smile "Yes, I am."
It was Roger Staubach.
3.  Then last night I was channel surfing and came across an old Johnny Carson clip with Kirk Douglas as the guest.  Johnny was asking him what prompted him to write his book The Ragman's Son.  Kirk...I call him Kirk 'cause we are just that close...shared a funny incident that happened while he was filming a movie. Long story short, the gist was it involved being in costume, stranded in a bar, and surrounded by gawking strangers. Finally one of the strangers walked up to him and timidly asked "Do you know who you are?" He went on to say he had been asked that same question countless time before and up until that time, he thought he did...Kirk Douglas, actor.  But sometime afterwards it got him to rethink the question and decide if he really did. The book was the result of that revelation.

As I sat there in the darkness, it suddenly hit me what God was asking me.
"My you know who you are?
And the truth was...No.  Besides the obvious...wife, mother, child of God...I didn't have a clue.
I knew who I wanted and tried to be.
I knew who I presented myself to the world I was.
I knew who I pretended to be from time to time, but as to who I was really?
I didn't have an answer, but it was high time for me to find out.
To search my inner self, to do some deep soul searching, be honest with myself and face those things I am least proud of or happy with...this was His command to me.  To either accept them or change them...that was my challenge.
As I set out on this journey of self discovery, I'll share with y'all what I dig up and out...some of it pretty...some not for the faint of heart.  
Umm...note to self:  Maybe not everything...'cause my mama always said not to air my dirty laundry on the front porch for everyone to see.
But those things that turn out to be life changing?
Those, you can bet your booties on, I'll shout from the rooftops...if my old self gets out of the way long enough to let my new self crawl up there.
And just for gits and shiggles, I'll leave you now with one question.
Do any of y'all know who you are?

Linking to Common Ground-Be Inspired

16 comments: said...

I think you are adorable, witty, and fun. Start there!

Anonymous said...

ditto the first commenter and I didn't know you were blogging....thought you'd gone to facebook forever. ;) So happy to be here. xo

holli said...

Well i DO know you're a good friend with the sweetest heart and the cutest home with an amazing Cat Daddy!!
I like to think i know who i am but truth is that changes over the season. Who i am now is not the same person even 6 months ago.

donna baker said...

I told my family to put the following on my epitaph. She thought too much. That says it for me. I'm trying not to self analyze much anymore - just a quick think and move on. And, from the quote from Molly on the sidebar, don't you miss her so?

Olive said...

I figured out who I was about 11 years ago. No regrets and no looking back. You, my poet, are a deep thinker.

Bliss said...

It's getting deep over here!

Vintage Home said...

Oh you can make the most important thoughts and revelations have deepest meaning and happy joy.
Your sense of humour and God given gifts are inspiring. I am going to give this great thought!

The Domestic Fringe said...

You're the sweetest woman in blogland. For reals.

Me, some days, I don't have a clue who I am. And then other times, although they are extremely fleeting, I think I've got it all figured out. So, basically I'm schizophrenic and a touch demented. My poor, poor family.

Curtains in My Tree said...

Yes I think I know who I am besides being a lonesome widow I am a survivor I have survived several hardships
and a child of God saved by Grace
and I love junk and vintage stuff

time worn interiors said...

I don't! and I don't even know how to begin to find out! I know I have God on my side, but things have never gone the way I would have liked. I've been thinking along the same lines you have, but like you, I don't like to air my dirty laundry! Love you girl!

Garden Antqs Vintage said...

Girl, you always have something wise to share with us! Thanks for being a one and only you, I do believe he threw the mold away when he made you.

Sandi~A Cottage Muse said...

Love this've really got me thinking!!

the old white house said...

loved this. I am figuring it out as I get older. I have always been known as mom to the five that I love with my whole being, and wife to D, who has my heart forever. Since taking my show on the road every week, I have somehow come into my own. Nobody I meet knows me as mom, or 'babe' (what we call eachother) they know me as the lavender lady or Theresa. I rather enjoy just being me for a few hours but will always come home to the roles that I have chosen for myself and cherish with every ounce of my soul.
mom, wife, artist, friend,sister, daughter, scatterbrain, lover of laughter, words, beautiful smiles, our planet, chippy paint, shiny objects, and rust.
I've just finished catching up on some of your posts... I love your words. Your mind is simply so beautiful.
HOpe all is well with you and yours. Have a fabulous Thanksgiving!
love, t.xooxoxo

must love junk said...

You had me on the edge of my seat with this post! And now you have my brain churning...great thoughts! :)

Pam @ Frippery said...

Sweet sweet lady. I am sobbing my eyes out. Thank goodness I already took my mascara off.. Here I have been missing your precious words and I really needed them. Thank you once again for saying exactly what I needed to hear. God definitely puts things in one's path for a reason and you have been placed in my path by Him. This post is fantastic and I will follow your journey as I travel mine. LYttH and to heaven and back, Pammie

Rebecca said...

I my lovely lady am... A new creature in Christ... old things passed away, all things new. That is the true spirit me, now the soul me is being transformed by the renewing of my mind through Jesus, I put on the mind of Christ and associate with the truth that is in Christ... anything and everything that doesn't line up with who I am in Christ is a lie and of the old nature which died on the cross with Christ. When the old programmed thoughts that were set as my default based on a lie, crop up (and they do crop) I stop and read who I really am in the word. I choose to a line myself with the truth and know who I am in Christ.
You my lovely one are A Mighty Woman of God who has been given many gifts... one of which you share and bless us with right here. If you are searching yourself only do it with the guidance of the Holy Spirit... Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts Psalm 139
I love and miss you Girl