Tuesday, June 4, 2013

PICC-et Line

Today's the day y'all.

Come 3:30ish this afternoon I will be PICC line free.

Can I get a yee to the haw?

No more getting whacked in the face by this PITA blue bag when I bend over to put my britches on.

No more hanging myself on the seat belt when perched in the poodle seat.

No more having to dine at Luby's...less I get a hankering for liver and onions.

No more Cat Daddy looking like a mad scientist in those latex gloves,  holding a saline syringe in one hand and my life line in the other. 

No more tales from the recent soap opera of my life...Downtown Gown Tails.

(Right about now, that last one ought to make y'all real happy knowing I'll have to find something else to talk about.  Talk about a broken record...just call me Hapless Harpy!)

God's got me right where He wants me...in His hip pocket.  Don't waste your "good lucks" on me.  Save 'em for the doctor.  He's the one who is gonna need 'em if he tries to talk me into another two weeks.

Woe unto him if he does make that mistake.

I'm ready for him.

I'm armed to the teeth and my nails are painted jungle red.

I've got it all planned out in my mind what to say.

How's this?

Doc, Cat Daddy is beginning to suspect there's more going on between you and me than just dressing changes...wink, wink!  Fact of the matter...C.D. is convinced you have a major crush on ol' Deb and he.doesn't.like.it.one.bit.

If that doesn't work...I got a back-up argument to throw at him.

How 'bout this?

Doctor Feel Good, the only thing on me that is in need of a really good PICC is my nose.

Finally, if that doesn't work...

Well then...I'll just have to chew his head off...

after I finish chewing off my arm!

Talk to y'all again in a bite.


I mean bit!


Garden Antqs Vintage said...

Girl, again...you have made me laugh, sorry about that. I'm glad that it's coming out today!!

Marsha @ Tattered Chick said...

Yay!!!! You always make me laugh, Deb, even when you are going through a tough time, you manage to smile!!! I need to take some lessons from you!!


holli said...

Here's a Yee to your Haw, A HOT to the Damn, SWEE to EET, and a Woo to the Hoo!!

Sue said...

So. . .after this pic thing is out you are going to continue to TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF, right? I hope you're future looks brighter and you are feeling a helluva a lot better my friend!!

Take care,

Sandi~A Cottage Muse said...

It's about cotton picc~in time!
Keep feeling better Deb!

Olive said...

Yay on being Piccless but not witless. Thank God never that.

The Green Pea said...

I hope you continue to feel better.
I am so sorry to hear you have been so sick. God Bless you Deb.

Stephanie said...

Girl, you are a mess - so funny!


LOL! You crack me up girl! I hope you didn't have to give that doctor "what for"...but I'll bet you did it if he needed it.


Pam @ Frippery said...

Hope he listened!!!!

Jill said...

I'm late in reading all of this so I sure hope you are gallivanting around PICC free and enjoying some good health and many blessings!!

Bohemian said...

The Humor you Express in the midst of Trials is truly Inspirational and I needed that right now my Friend as I move thru my own Dark place while finding the Humor in it and remaining up by Faith! Blessings and more Healing Energies coming your way from the Arizona Desert!

Dawn... The Bohemian