Her Highness Will See You Now!

OK y'all, here we go with Post #99! Only one more to go. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect this party to be this much work!!! I know y'all are wondering what took me so long to post today. I really wasn't being mean or lazy....I was just finishing up all the last minute details.Now in case you are just joining in, let me quickly try to bring you up-to-date. Beginning with my 93rd post, I have been making preparations for my 100th Post/Giveaway/Birthday Celebration. If you have left a comment on these posts, your name went into a champagne bucket. Some of you clever girlies have earned extra bucket drops by dropping my name in some of the most clever and imaginative ways I have ever seen. Some have earned extra entries with cute suggestions that I have stolen, I mean borrowed to make this even more fun. This brings us to the dressing up! If you dress yourself, a mannequin, a dress form, your husband, the dog(think tutus, FringeGirl) or even a picture of someone else and post it tomorrow, I'll put your name in again. You can thank Pam for that idea.

I've started my A-List of attenders on the side bar based on the R.S.V.P's from my last post. If you'd like to be included, just leave me a comment and Baby, you are in! The red velvet rope will let you pass in as a VIP. If I've left anyone off or you can't make it, let me know. Doesn't mean you can't come...just these guest will get the royal treatment, like the best tables.

Everybody on the same page now? Onto new business. As you know, Ms. T, Maggie the Cat, Lisa and Mindy have let my secret out. I was trying to just be ordinary Debbie, but now the whole world knows I am Talking Trash(or at least all of Texas)! Y'all who are not from Texas have probably been thinking, who cares? Well, the news media for one. I have been bombarded with telephone calls and e-mails requesting interviews. But I have decided to give y'all the exclusive dirt. Feel free to ask me any question you would like and I'll be answering them tomorrow in my Big Ol' 100th Post! Since I'm from Texas, you know you will only get the truth from these lips!!! So ask away!

It sounds like the maids have finished vacuuming, so I think I'll pop into the closet and start making a final decision for tomorrow.

What do you think of this? I thought those would be the perfect dancing shoes.

I didn't realize I owned so much pink! I didn't think pink was my color. Obviously I was mistaken. Oh by the way, the bidding for Cat Daddy ends tonight at midnight. Here is your last chance! The bid is now 1 frito chili pie, a plate of chocolate chip cookies, peach cobbler, six pack of long necks(make those Shiner Bock, please), a honey baked ham, potato salad, deviled eggs, bourbon balls, tamales and hot sauce.(Thanks to Cat Daddy, the menu is complete!) The winning bid will be announced tomorrow!

This is a pretty dramatic number, but I know Harry will be wearing a black tuxedo so I wouldn't want us to look like one person instead of two.

This is pretty groovy threads, but not low cut enough for me. I say, if you got 'em, flaunt 'em! And since for once, the girls are where they are supposed to be instead of two days behind me, I'm gonna flaunt 'em. Heck, I may even be dancing on a table!

This is a dreamy dress. Yards and yards of tulle! I may just have to be wearing this one when Cat Daddy comes home tonight. I need to remind him that I'm still the mama kitty in his life even if I am selling, I mean loaning him to the highest bidder!

I've come to the conclusion I have WAY too many clothes in my closet. E-mail me next week if you're interested in any of the dresses you've been seeing here. I think I need to sell some and buy more! Doesn't that gold brocade coat scream "Barbie"?

This is the cutest little sweater and if I pair it with....................

this darling lace dress, I think I may just have................

This!!!! How cute would that be. But, girls, I'm not going for cute. Uh Uh!! I want drop dead gorgeous! Going through my clothes has worn me out. I think I need for Calgon to take me away.

Ahhh! This is more like it. This is the life of a socialite.

Did I remember to place the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door? Oh well, too late now. I see y'all have decided to come on in. Please have a seat. You'll have to take turns as there is only one.

Time to start getting ready for my Cat Daddy to come home. I've been neglecting him with all the party prep work, but I plan on making it up to him. Wink Wink!

I feel pretty, oh so pretty. Join me. I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty and giddy and gay. Paris H. ain't got nothing on me!

Helen Louise always told me to put on the jewelry I wanted to wear and then take one piece off. Sorry, Mother.....I want to wear it all and all at the same time!

I've got to do my nails. I'm thinking Jungle Red, my favorite! Oh dear, Chris just called and said he wouldn't be able to make it. Something about a new show starting on Biography Channel and rehearsals. Oh well, his loss and Harry's gain!

Ok y'all, I am officially ready for C.D. to walk in the door and take me out to dinner. I'm thinking McDonald's. Nothing but the best for us socialites! Big hair and big talk...that's us!

I also want to tell y'all one more thing before tomorrow morning. Remember when I said my giveaway grand prize was going to be over the top. Well, I wasn't kidding! I'm making the grand announcement tonight. The party will be over tomorrow night at midnight and then I will put my dainty white hand with freshly manicured jungle red nails into the champagne bucket and draw out the lucky name who will be receiving this in the mail:

Can you see what it is? Look closer. No, it's not Big Bertha, although she would be a great prize to receive. Look real close. Now Scream!!!! Yes, my dear sweet friends, it is an original, one-of-a-kind Laurie of 2Chippys JUNK NECKLACE! I love you all so much for your kind, witty, funny comments and for always going along with me on a joke, trip or just when I'm rambling. I wanted to say thank you in the best way possible and I think this necklace is it. Laurie was just featured in Porch Magazine for her unique pieces and this is your chance to own one. They are (3 words kiddies, say it with me) Fab U Lous and so are all of you. So let me know if you're coming, ask any questions you want me to answer, dress and post and let's have a good time!

I have one more request of y'all. If you have time, please go over to Moonlight Hollow and leave Malisa a comment. She needs some love and prayers and I know y'all have plenty of both to give. Thank you a lot from the bottom of my heart.

Let me hear you scream one more time and then get ready to PARTY!!!

By Invitation Only

Helen Louise and Debra Lynn cordially invite you to participate in the 100th Post/Giveaway/Birthday Celebration February 13, 2009.Aw heck y'all, I just can't do it. I know Mother would want me to be all fancy schmancy with engraved invites and return envelopes for your R.S.V.P.'s, but it's not me and besides I'm too lazy! I also thought my money would be better spent for my special giveaway prize to be announced later. Stamps and cards? Presents? Which would YOU rather have. So here's the dirt. This Friday I will be posting my 100th post. For those of you who have been keeping up, I have been doing posts leading up to this milestone(millstone?) beginning with the 93rd. This is the 98th post. Every time y'all have a left a comment on a post, your name has been put in the champagne bucket to be drawn out Friday night at Midnight!!! The winner will be announced Saturday, Valentine's Day! On Friday I will be hostessing the party with Helen Louise. BTW, isn't she gorgeous? If you tell me I look just like her, I will blow you a kiss! This was her Senior Prom photo 1943. Kerri(Sister Trash) and I still have the dress and corsage. It's in S.T.'s possession right now. I will be presenting my version of me per a mannequin. I'm planning on being much younger and thinner. I'm encouraging all of y'all to join in on the fun and dress yourself or a facsimile and post it as well. If you do, I'll add your names an additional time. Leave me a R.S.V.P.(translate that to comment) that you plan on stopping by with your dates, (You do have a date...I hope you made a date...I told you to get a date...I'm not sharing Harry...You can still bid on Cat Daddy...Pick a date out for gosh sakes!) and if you will be posting photos. I'll add a link to your blog if I know you're coming. I've been putting things in the box that I will be mailing to the winner, but the Grand Prize is a doozy!!! It's my way of saying thanks to all of you. I can't afford the airfare to travel to see all of you and give you a hug, but I wish I could. So consider this a long distance hug from me to you. I only started blogging in August, but this has been the most fun I think I've ever had with my clothes on. Get your minds outta there...I think bubble baths are fun too! Some of you have been along for the ride beginning in August, some of you are new. I'm getting to meet some of the most wonderful and talented people doing this and I thank God for blessing me with this adventure. So to quickly recap, leave a comment(ask if you don't know how), get name in bucket, show up Friday, leave comment, get name in bucket one final time, have fun and possibly win!!! In case you were wondering, Lulu, I and my family members are ineligible to win. Someone needs to tell Sister Trash that. Look what she tried to slip by me. Kerri's prom circa 1972. I think that's it for now. If you have any questions, the Q&A Department is listed just below.

One, Two, Cha Cha Cha!!!

Just in case you needed a refresher course! Stay tuned...Invitations are in the mail!

#96...Christie's It Ain't!

OK y'all, it is time for the 100th post giveaway update. This is post 96 so we are on the countdown. If you have left a comment on the 3 previous posts, then you know you're name has been put in the champagne bucket each time. Remember, no comment, no surprise. The entertainment is in place thanks to Helen Louise. I've selected my escorts and my mannequin to represent me. I'm hoping y'all have done the same. I've had a few inquiries as to whether Cat Daddy would be available that night. I just don't know if just one of you can handle such a man as this.

He THOUGHT he was going to bring Martina but I let him know otherwise, I mean I suggested she might be busy performing that night. All the other ladies he had on his list just didn't measure up to the high standards I expected for his date. After all, we are talking about The Cat Daddy of all cat daddies.

Now girls, I've always said you can't steal my man, but I will give him to you. But due to the high demand, I'm reconsidering my position. Why should I give away the milk when I can sell the bull? (Is that how it goes?) Cat Daddy loves a lot of things including his family, Jakie the dog, and me. But I do believe the thing he loves most of all is a good auction. Heck, his favorite song is "The Auctioneer" by Leroy Van Dyke. What does that tell you? He loves the excitement of bidding and outbidding. He loves the frito chili pies. He loves the sound of the gavel hitting wood and the call of "Sold"! This, my friends, is his mating call.

So here's what I propose to do. In the comments section you can leave a bid for Cat Daddy. You don't have to....but if you want him for the evening, you are going to have to pay for him. Feel free to leave other comments(after all it adds your name to the bucket one more time) just no cat fights over him. Keep it clean. No hitting below the bra line, no hair pulling and no scratching. Oh and for goodness sake, no begging. I am open to bribery, trades and IOU's.

For those of you just tuning in and are not familiar with Cat Daddy and I, here's a chance to kind of get caught up in our world. I'm also listing my favorite Cat Daddy posts. If you don't want to bid on C.D., perhaps you'd like to vote on your favorite post. Feel free to mention one that I didn't.

Here are my favorites in no particular order:

1. Happy Anniversary To Me

2. White Trash Delux

3. Forget My Two Front Teeth and Voila (Please be sure and read these two together)

4. The King Is Dead-Long Live The King

5. A Couple Of Alley Cats On The Prowl

If you are new to my blog I hope you enjoying reading these and maybe decide you want to come back as a regular visitor. I sure would love to have you stop by anytime.

So in the words of Mr. Van Dyke "Hey, well alright sir, open the gate and let 'em out and walk 'em boys. Here we come with lot number 29 in, What'd ya gonna give?"

Tuxedo Junction

Well I tried y'all, but Helen Louise will not be swayed. Elvis she wants and Elvis she gets. On the positive side, this has eliminated my need to hire a band. He's bringing the whole gang to perform. I just hope I don't throw a hip out trying to keep up with the two of them. Which brings me to my escort dilemma. I have had so many calls wanting to be my date to this happening event and I really didn't want to hurt anyone feelings so I decided there is plenty of me to go around so I'm bringing 'em all!No Texas party would be complete without one or two Lone Star State treasures, Lyle being one of them. What's not to love. Only problem with him......he's got bigger hair than me.

Harry called and said Jill gave him permission to come out and play with me. I am in love with this guy and no one wears a tux better. Hubba Hubba!!! And do you remember him dancing with Sandra in "Hope Floats"? Y'all know this southern boy would provide hours and hours of fun. Maybe I could even sweet talk him into playing a little piano for us. We'll see.

Another one of my all time favorite Texas Treasures called and said he wouldn't be available that evening. Girls, he was actually crying when he said it. Bless Delbert's heart. Oh well, at least it wasn't me declining his invitation that broke his heart.

Jay said he'd love to escort me, but wanted to know if he could wear his apron and if Duke could come too! I am sorry y'all, but I just refuse to play second fiddle to a dog. Besides, he wanted to bring his secret family recipe as well and I can't find beans anywhere on the list for aphrodisiacs. Scratch him and his little dog too!

Did I tell y'all I'm just wild about Harry and he's just wild about me? Oh, I did. Well, so sorry, but I'm thinking he may just be the one.

But then, Chris called. Oh my goodness, what is a girl supposed to do? I couldn't say no. So it looks like it will be Chris, Lyle, Harry(sigh!) and I. Feel free to bring an extra escort if you like. When it comes to men, I always say the more, the harryer, I mean merrier!

Now I'd like to answer some quick questions y'all have had.

1. No, I will not be wearing the torpedo bra. Too many flashbacks to Jr. High dances.

2. Cher, I swear if you put a bra on one of your dead animals..........

3. All divas allowed. Just don't try to steal my spotlight. I plan on wearing one as a crown.

4. Trish, if your dog looks better in a dress than me........

5. All dress rules will be included in the invitation.

Be sure and keep watching for your invitation. It will be coming soon, I promise.

I'm Thinking Spangly With A Split Up The Side

Time for a party update. After reading the comments to my upcoming Valentine/Helen Louise/100th Post Giveaway Party, I can tell y'all are ready to let your hair down and TANGO! I've decided to add something to the giveaway each time I post because I want it to be special. Y'all are all dolls about playing along with anything I throw at you and I want to make sure you all know how spectacular I think y'all are. Now the next thing I think that needs to be done is to coordinate with everybody attending as to what you will be wearing. I for one do not want to show up in the same dress and have you look better in it than me! Pam asked if she could dress her mannequin instead and I thought that idea was Fab U Lous! If y'all are game, here is a little proposition I'd like to make. If you do dress your mannequin or dress form up in formal attire and post about it(with a link back to me of course) then I'll put your name in the champagne bucket again. What would really be fun would be for everyone to do it on the same day....say party day! What do y'all think about that? Are you game? Leave me a comment with your input and thoughts. Now if you prefer to sparkle as yourself, why that would be great as well. I still want photos. I just happen to think my girls would look better strapless than me. Way too much Flying Nun going on under the arms if you catch my drift. Besides, I don't think there is enough masking tape in the world to achieve what I would want to achieve. Now speaking of my girls, I just have to decide which one I'm going to let represent me.

There is my Victoria Secret Angel who looks good in everything. This chick has curves I never had even in my best of days. She can wear a potato sack and turn any man into a masher!

Who am I kidding? Even with the lights turned off, no one would believe it was me. But it is my party and I can have any body, I mean be anybody I want to!

Now there is this little beauty who has very little to hold up a strapless sheath. Too boyish, don't you think? I mean really, even her torpedo bra is sliding south and needs to be stapled on. No, that's just not me. I like men who like women with a little more meat on the bone. You know, some junk in the trunk.

Ah, the good old days! This would have been me prior to babies, surgeries, life, marriage and a love of my own cooking.

This is my favorite and I think we are finally getting close to the real me. FiFi and I have been together a long time. She was the first dress form I bought and she is my oldest. Only problem here is the smooshed bosom. Not much decollete' going on there. BTW, that is one of my favorite words. I just love the way it rolls off the tongue. Ooh la la! But once again I digress. She is a little older and I just don't know how long she'd be able to party.

Which brings us to my last girl. Cat Daddy bought her a couple of months ago. I think he was looking for a replacement for me that didn't talk back. Would you look at the shape on her. I honestly do not know if I have any foundation garments( just listen to how nice and ladylike I can talk) that would fit her and I think she may just be a little too long in the tooth to go au natural. I could be wrong and it wouldn't be the first time, but I think gravity is really working on her.

Well, y'all think about my little proposition and tell me what you think. Remember, a comment gets your name in the bucket again! I am not above bribery to get y'all to talk to me. I really want to hear your ideas. Heck, in fact, I think I'm going to go right now and put Pam's name in the bucket for her idea and for letting me steal, I mean borrow it. Oh, and wait until you see Helen's dress. All I will tell you is it's pale blue and a dream!

P.S. Before any more time passes, I also want to say thank you to Jena at Not So Shabby for giving me the Lemonade Award. Y'all know this means so much to me and I want her to know that I think she does too for thinking of me in such a nice way. Go check her out. Her blog is beautiful and she has wonderful fresh ideas. Thank you Jena so much.